I wish he was all up in my george foreman.
K OMG.
When I was at work today, I was just minding my own business folding shirts hating life, you know. WHEN MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER. This man walked in, and he had on ray ban glasses, like seeing eye glasses, he was wearing the sickest man jeans i had ever seen and like a nice top and i was like WHOA. He was probably the hottest guy I have ever seen in my life. Get this, picture prescott but about 87 times hotter. Not even joking, I wouldn’t joke about these things. So, obviously i had to tell someone because HE WAS LIKE A GOD. So i ran back to my fellow coworker Ryan, and we drooled over him and we watched him. Then I went back to the front of the store, and he followed me to MEET HIS WIFE. I have never wanted to kill a woman more in my life. I have also never wanted to run up to a woman and be like ‘GO HOME AND HAVE SEX WITH THAT MAN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T I WILL JESUSSSS YOU ARE LUCKY.” K I lied, I have wanted to do that before but WHATEVA. Moral of this story is, I have not seen one ugly man here yet. I’m sure there are tons, I just have not encountered one yet. They probably have meetings or something on how they can make themselves more known. The Ugly People I mean. Anyways, basically I met the man I want to marry today, but he was already married. Hopefully they have babies and the kid looks exactly like him….so i can babysit? Because that would be a ridiculous age difference. I wouldn’t even do that. No sir. This is getting rambly because I just miss fucking being able to see your face and tell you these stories. I feel like that Ugly People Club thing would have gone on longer and been so much funnier, if this were a dialogue and not just me typing my thoughts basically. I’m getting Orange Julius for breakfast tomorrow. I’m so effing excited. This is what my life has been reduced to, excitement over a blended beverage.
Save me.