I miss Gina.
I miss gina. I miss dan the man, and his hairy arms. I was thinking about it the other day, I used to make dan laugh alot, before. I don’t do that anymore. It made me realize how true that journal entry you read to me was. I did put so much of my worth into that relationship. It makes me sad.
I miss you. I started to feel it today. I don’t know how to describe it. For the past week, i’ve been like la-ti-da because I’ve been just sort of doing nothing, but now there is a semi-routine and working at the new gap. It makes me feel ridiculous, but I miss my work. I hated that place sometimes, but most of the time it was my escape from everything that was bothering me. I just got to go and DO. And I was good at doing so it made it easier. I miss the people and I miss the laughing. This new work is so big, and all the people are nice, but they aren’t MY people, and it feels like I’ll never be able to find a group of people like that in a workspace. Yeah yeah I know, its only been two days and yadda yadda I have to get used to it. But I don’t really wanna hear those things, i know those things. But right now all i’m feeling is all consuming loneliness. This is hard. It sucks, and I’m lonely. I don’t have any friends. I don’t have anything to do besides work and going to the gym. I know its what I wanted but right now it just feels so lonely. I miss gina, I miss the bed in the basement, I miss YOUR bed, I miss starbucks. I miss you, frig.
I cried for the first time today.